Singapore IS Overpopulated!!!

Yeah, you know how its like...All of a sudden, everywhere you go seems to be more crowded with peoples, black, white, yellow, gray, purple, pink people everywhere! Allow me to elaborate...

Was planning to meet up with friends yesterday at Clementi before heading to a birthday party. So I picked up a present at Viviocity around 7.15pm and realising that I was going to be late, decided to hail a cab at the taxi stand...guess what? the queue at the taxi stand seemed to snake on forever and if that wasn't bad enough, taxis were arrviing in a tickle at best, probablye freaked out by the queue of cab-hungry Singaporeans/Foreigners.

Deciding that it would probably be faster transiting via MRT, I hopped onto MRT and did a switching at Outram Park Interchange. That was where the horror begin...

MRT after MRT was packed with people to the max, and no it wasn't anything like Hari Raya last year whereby everyone had space to move about...This year, the trains were packed to the max such that no batch of passengers waiting to board the MRT was every 100% successful, with a few passengers left behind to wait for the next MRT to arrive.

And for your information, most of the people on the MRT car I was in weren't Malays! Call me xenophobic but there happen to be a hell lot of non-Singaporeans hanging around near the entrance of the MRT with no commonsense to move further in where there happened to be an empty space? And you'd think it was just foreigners...apparently, the queue at our polyclinics are equally bad! Imagine having to wait 1 hr to register, 40 mins for your turn to see the doctor for a 7 min consultation before squandering another 20 mins of your life waiting to collect your prescription from the pharmacy....

Productive Time = 7 mins
Unproductive Time = 2hrs (120mins)
Polyclinic Assessment = Screwed!!!

Seriously, I most certainly did not pay my MRT fares to get squeezed and suffocated on a commute, no matter how communal its meant to be. For goodness sake, if the Land Transport Authority wants to increase our transport fees annually, then at least provide us decent transportation services. They can start by increasing the frequency of MRT arrvials. The worst part of this is that the newspapers come out with headlines proclaiming how wonderous and efficient our public transportation is and the need to raise train fares in light of rising global oil prices - I don't see how that's the case now that oil prices have gone below $96 per barrel and considering the number of passengers who have to squeeze into an MRT..now I'm so motivated to get my driving licence and vehicle... Don't remind me of ERPs!

Hiatus!

Dear all,

I will be taking a break from blogging for the month of Sep 08 to work on another project. Watch out for my come back in October!

Lotsa Love,
Costa

Snapshots For Aug 08~

It seems like the term "blogging" has often been defined as logging down one's experiences in life, the kind of stuff that would attract voyeurs who want a peek into your life...

While this blog will definitely be less about me and function more like my channel of expression, I've decided to give it a more personal touch in this article...no frisky details,I'm way too lazy for that, just a couple of shots...

Of Hip Diners and Tao Huay

2.30pm - Met up with Han after lunch with my parents at Suntec in an attempt to squeeze our way through the ridiculous crowd at the Comex IT Show but we eventually gave up all the shoving, squeezing and strategic planning to find the most accessible route to the convention hall.

5 pm - Left for church while Han met up with YJ.

7.20 pm - Linked up with Han and YJ at Taka before heading to Cineleisure for dinner @ Hip Diners...Food was disappointing though



Miserable, lousy and oily meatloaf.

Thankfully, Tao Huay at Rochor saved the day and filled our stomachs...I'm too lazy to go into the details or upload anymore photos so that's all for the moment, perhaps I'll modify this portion when I have the time to...


Sharks, Han's head got caught in the pic...wanted to capture YJ's head "floating in the air".

Sam's Birthday BASH @ Zouk

Our first stop was at the American Club where all of us had Hennessy and Heneiken with some really special guests that night. Really REALLY special guest that is.

Posing with the birthday boy for an attitude shot:



My bro here had just gotten elected as NTU's President for Photog!

Jason and his friend

Andy, Adrian and Randall in high spirits

Posing with my bodyguard!

Took this shot with a tip or two from the Photog President.

Look who's shaking

Grandma's Birthday

Celebrated my paternal Grandmother's 80th Birthday @ Man Fu Something Restaurant over at Oriental Hotel. Pictures were posted by Ronda...Can't seem to expand them without disrupting the quality though...hmmm....

Was a rather considerable family gathering but I'm only going to display our family shot.

The menu was Fantastic, with lobster on longevity noodles, double broiled shark fins soup (a hell lot of shark fins ok, entire chunks of them, each about a finger long!)

Once again, would like to wish my Grandmother a wonderous and Blessed Birthday!

HORTPark Reloaded

I had never heard of a "HORT Park" till this month and when I finally heard about it, I visited it twice. The first trip was with YA, which was supposed to be organised by our cell. We started walking from Mt Faber, through Hort Park to Bukit Chandu hill where we visited the museum cum memorial centre at the top of the hill. The memorial centre was a tribute to the soldiers of the 3rd Malay Regiment (If I remembered correctly) for their valient efforts in defending the hill against occupational forces from Japan.Therein we ended with lunch at a zhi cha foodcentre at the base of the hill.

Cell buddies (Psalm not in picture, busy leading the group)

Hilltop Garden

Along the bridge...

HORT Park, which is really Horticulture Park, a rather nice and green place.

Luncheon with Lyn and Ling

Caught up with childhood buddies Lyn and Ling for lunch at Marche, Vivo. We have known each other since we were crawling and are all grown up now. Had a pleasant time chatting with them, not to mention ogling the hamsters and puppies at Pet Safari...esp since Lyn's back for her summer vacation!

A Majestic Drink and Supper

Well not exactly...in fact, the pub was located just next to this designer hotel (the Majestic Hotel). It all began when I received an invitation from Shu Juan, Ian and Shu Sian to explore Arab Street on a Tuesday. However, due to other commitments, I decided to join them for a drink instead at this location which supposedly had a 3-storey tall tree in the centre of the building...makes you wonder how the tree got all the sunlight and water without affecting the patrons, not to mention what steps the managment would have to take to ensure that the tree stayed in shape (and a bald tree is not an excuse for artistic tendencies).

As suspected, the CONCEPT of the bar was that of a 3 -storey tree tall tree rather than the existence of real tree. Kena conned.

Shu Juan with her Gingerbread Martini

Shu Juan and Shu Sian

Me with my "Sweet & Charming" while Ivan strikes a pose with his Hunk Martini, which tasted awful...Thankfuly I opted for "Sweet & Charming" which was light and refreshed the senses with its citrus essence.

Oh No! What's happening??? Radio-cosmic waves are granting the 4 of us new powers!

Myself and Ivan powering up!

And I blew Ivan's head off in a beam of laser!

Act cute.

Act Cool.

Late-night supper served at Maxwell Market. The porriage and siew mai were delicious!

Our best food show host pose.

Adventures with Silicon Man, Abang, Kungfu Panda and Fat Ahgong (don't ask me why)

Had so much fun with you guys but I'll save our tales for another time....Now for blissful sleep...zzzZZzz

MRT Moral Dilemma resolved! (~Modified~)

As promised, my solution to the problem (as in yesterday's "MRT Moral Dilemma") was simply to remain seated.

Application of King Solomon's Law - King Solomon threatened to cleave a baby being contested by 2 ladies claiming to be the child's mother into half. In doing so, he managed to identify the real mother (who showed greater love for the child).

By staying seated, everyone didn't have to fight over the seat, as a fare-paying passenger,I didn't need to feel choked by guilt whatsoever and everyone was happy...

Or rather, I hope they were...

Anyway, I ended up vacating my seat for this mother/child duo later on in the journey so yeah,so much for the mental stress...

Moral Dilemma #3

Building on the earlier question as to whether the Old Man, Pregnant Lady or Parent with Toddler should be given priority over the very same seat has led to yet another dilemma...

Within each of these subgroups, how do we prioritise the Right To Seat??? Have you ever wondered what are the criterias one must satisfy in order to fit into the above categories?

Take for instance, the following questions:

How old must you be to be considered an "Old Man"? Someone who looks frail and weak but is actually 60 years old? Or someone who appears physically hale and strong but is 80 years old?

Should a pregnant lady into her 6th month give up her seat to another lady who is 7 months into her pregnancy?

What requirements must a child+parent combo meet before they qualify under the Priority List? Must the child be a baby less than 1 year old? Or conversely, what is the age limit of a "toddler" as we define it in the picture? One who is in kindergarten? Or maybe even lower primary school?

I realised that pitting the 3 groups of needy people would merely result in everyone siding with the Old Man and pregnant lady against the "Parent with Child" would would probably bring to mind the image of a healthy young/mid-aged parent...so I've decided to take things even further by replacing that icon with one depicting a Grandparent with Grandchild/Baby.

Now then, if all 3 groups of "needy" individuals were to contest for the seat (acts of graciousness aside), who is entitled to the seat at the end of the day???

Think about it and feel free to comment (If any)

Chain Laughter

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An Idiot's Guide for the Pregnant Lady

With Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong mentioning how guys can make all the right moves such as helping with the changing of a babies diapers or wearing shoes when out on a dinner date to a fine dining restaurant during his National Day Rally speech, its no wonder that the ladies must have felt left out...

Hence, in this article we shall dispense tips on how to ensure a smooth delivery....

The MRT Moral Dilemma

Well, was onboard the MRT just last week when it occurred to me that the public transport system does indeed have a rather complicated etiquette...with lots of gray areas.

Senario #1 (Real-life situation with teaser)

Setting:
I boarded the MRT at Boon Lay MRT Station but only managed to get a sit at Jurong East MRT.

There were 3 empty seats vacated by occupants who alighted at Jurong East MRT station. Standing nearest to the centre seat, I naturally laid stake to it, especially when I caught sight of marauding aunties and banglas charging through the breached MRT sliding doors.

My bum had just found a nice place to rest when this young lady sat to my left. Apparently, she had a friend so I thought I'd move to allow them to seat together...But a bangla sat on my right. Apparently, he too was with a friend of his.

Now then, as the modern day knight in green on the far eastern side of the world (albeit a little south)...an act of Chivalry would mean either giving up my seat to the ladies or the banglas, both having equal right as paying passengers to the seat....

What would you do?

My answer will be revealed in tommorrow's article (Not the next article for today!)

Senario #2

Seen this sign before?

It depicts an old man, a pregnant lady and a parent with a child. Just below the sign is yet another label just above the seat with the words: "Priority Seat"

Now if there was a 100-year old man, a lady whom you suspect is 8-months pregnant with triplets and a 2 year old mentally disabled toddler with his parent all standing in front of you, whom would you give up your seat to?

Lets just say the entire train is full of 110-year old elderly folks, ladies pregnant just waiting to give birth to quadruplets and serverely disabled toddlers and you are the only hale and young person around.

Apparently there isn't a table of precedence to inform people who gets priority over the other "priority individuals" yeah?

Miss Nun Universe - A Catholic Pageant

I'm not quite sure how this would play out among Catholics, especially the conservative ones in light of a contest for Sisters of an ascetic order which shuns the pleasures of the World. Oh well, its a proposal by a Catholic priest anyway so it should be so much of a problem, I think.

- Vladimar Kosta

Article from the following link:

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/World/Story/STIStory_271528.html

ROME - THE first beauty pageant for nuns debuts next month with the advent of 'Miss Sister Italy,' aimed at erasing a stereotype of nuns as being old and sad, a newspaper reported on Sunday.
'Nuns are above all women and beauty is a gift from God,' priest Antonio Rungi of the southern Italian diocese of Modragone told the daily Corriere della Sera.
'This contest will be a way to show there isn't just the beauty we see on television but also a more discrete charm,' he added.
Nuns wishing to participate in the contest should send their picture to Rungi, who will publish it on his blog. Internet surfers can then vote for their favorite nun online.
'You really think all nuns are old, stunted and sad? This isn't the case any more, thanks to the arrival in our country of young and vital nuns,' notably from Africa and Latin America, Father Rungi added.
The idea of organising a beauty pageant had been pushed by the nuns themselves, he said, adding he expected roughly 1,000 candidates.
'I hope the next (pageant) won't just take place online but that we can organise a real show that can take place during the Miss Italy contest,' Father Rungi said. -- AFP

Talk about Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act:

7 People Who Kicked DEATH In The Balls!

Vladimar Kosta links up with Son Tran even as he tracks down the 7 people who have defied death and realises that sky diving without a parachute, sawing off your arm with a pen knife, catching sharks for breakfast and getting shot are just some of the great lengths people go to get killed. NOT.

And of course along the way, our dear reporter offers some brainless commentary...

The lady who sky-dived without a parachute

#7.Vesna Vulovic 1, Mountain 0

Who was she?
Vesna Vulovic was a stewardess back in the '70s working on a Serbian airline.

How She Stared Down Death:
Except for surviving countless ass gropings during her time as a stewardess there was really nothing special about this lady. Oh yeah, except for the fact that she fell 33,000 fucking feet and lived to tell the tale.

On January 26, 1972 our gal was working an extra shift due to a clerical error. She took the shift anyway to earn a little extra scratch, probably to supplement her bear-wrestling hobby or something. Anyway, some terrorists decided to blow up her plane and succeeded in doing so at the worst possible time, when the plane was really high up in the air.

Like this, only six miles in the air

Not only did she survive the explosion that blew the plane into pieces, but she was the only person to live after hitting the side of the mountain. Normally this would totally suck by itself, but it was winter so the mountain was also frozen which probably made it feel like she hit it after falling 33,000 and 10 feet.

Now because we're talking about reality and not a cartoon, she did in fact break a bunch of bones and fell into a coma, but when she woke up she looked around and asked for a cigarette. Apparently flipping Death the bird really gives you cravings.

Not convinced? Did we tell you she was left paralyzed ... but then regained her ability to walk through sheer force of will and balls-out effort? She also didn't suffer any of those New Age, sissy boy "psychological effects" either and continued to fly like nothing happened. As a bonus she collected a Guinness World Record for her troubles.

Want to see if you're as tough? No problem all you have to do is jump off the equivalent of 26 Empire State Buildings.

In case you're wondering, a fall like that takes about three minutes, which should be plenty of time to contemplate death (and every single bad decision you've made in your life) and after that, don't forget to live, break your back, fall into a coma, become paralyzed and then recover, which we figure is the hard part.

Lead actor of the real-life Saw Movie scene

#6.Aron Ralston Hacks Off His Own Fucking Arm

Who was he?
A mechanical engineer at Intel. You know those engineers are renowned for being tough guys.

How He Stared Down Death:
No biggie, all he did was take a hike in the woods and came out five days later, missing an arm, which he had to cut off himself.

Seems Aron was big on mountain climbing, which by itself is pretty manly, but not enough to get him on this list. Except during this particular hike a boulder fell on him, pinning his arm. For five days he worked to push the rock off and finally realized he would die unless he took drastic action.

Because the prospect of cutting off your arm may not impress some of you hardcore readers, we need to point out that he first had to break his arm by snapping it against the same rock pinning him down. Then came the hard part, cutting through the flesh.

Lucky for Aron he had a multi-use tool. Unluckily for Aron it was a piece of crap knock-off that he probably got from an aunt at Christmas. Plus saying that he was lucky to have the tool to cut through his arm is kind of like saying you're lucky to have Chapstick on your lips while your head is on fire.
Death wasn't about to give up easily though, and after cutting through the flesh, Aron had to use the pliers to cut through the tendons that the knife couldn't cut.

Finally he freed himself, gave Death one last manly smile and found some help. He ended up losing the arm but had it replaced by a bitching climbing ax, accomplishing in one step what we hope evolution does for the rest of us over the next few million years.

I'm telling you, the army just can't do without clerks

#5.Jim Thompson POW and Legendary Badass



Who was he?
Jim was just a store clerk, until he decided he could probably impress more girls by telling them he was a Green Beret, which he became.

How He Stared Down Death:
During the Vietnam War, Jim was captured and held as a prisoner of war, at which time he was beaten and tortured. The time we're speaking of by the way was a period of nine years, giving him a pretty bittersweet record for being held as a POW.

His plane was shot down in 1964, with Jim taking a bullet and breaking his back in the process. Surviving that part would have been enough of a harrowing story for most people to tell for the rest of their lives. But it was a long way from over for Jim.

After being captured, Jim was held in a jungle camp and jammed into a wooden cage too small for him to sit up or fully stretch out. For months his captors wanted him to sign papers saying that he was treated well. Jim told them to fuck off and in return was beaten and tortured some more. At some point, probably because his voice was sore from telling them to fuck themselves, he finally signed.


Actual photo (of Christopher Walken)

As a reward, he was moved into solitary confinement for four years. He was finally moved into a prison with other prisoners which was great, except that the beatings and torture continued, which pretty much blew. At one point during his captivity, he became so weak that he suffered a heart seizure. Realizing he needed his heart to live, Jim survived that scare and even managed to escape five times.

The time took its toll on Jim though and it looked like Death would win this one. Another prisoner who saw Jim reported that he thought the enemy had placed a corpse in the cell next door. However, Death forgot the fact the Jim was a Green Beret and he held on until he was finally released in 1973. He weighed 90 pounds.

Thompson unfortunately succumbed to death shortly after his release. And by "shortly" we mean 30 years later, of natural causes, in Florida.

Bad day for a fish, or shark

#4.Poon Lim, Cast Away

Who was he?
He was steward on a British ship during World War II, with an unfortunate first name, at least by Western standards.

How He Stared Down Death:
The ship he was working on was blown up by the Germans. Being total assholes, the Germans did this while the ship was far away from land. Surviving the explosion was no biggie for Poon, but it forced him to climb into a life raft and hang out until he was rescued ... 133 fucking days later.

At first there was water in the raft and a few boxes of biscuits. But these ran out quickly and Poon had to get all MacGyver and make himself some fish hooks out of nails and tin cans to catch fish to survive.

Between doing awesome stuff like catching sharks and drinking the blood of birds he caught, he also had to deal with sunburn, seasickness and storms that wrecked his food and water supplies. Eventually he figured he needed to catch more food. For us that would mean more fish. For Poon it meant catching a fucking shark. For Death it meant Poon was not going down easy.


Toothy death or lunch? Depends on who you are.

He could have been rescued sooner but another German U-boat that spotted him offered no help. It was at this point that Poon began to suspect that the Nazis were dicks.

He finally sailed near Brazil and was rescued by some fishermen, and these days the US Navy teaches his survival techniques to its sailors.

Next time you feel like complaining about how small your apartment is, just imagine living for four months on one of these:

When Charcoal tastes like Carl's Jr

#3.The Meng Brothers Eat Coal For Breakfast

Who were they?
A coal miner working in China, which is basically like poking Death in the face on a regular basis for a living.

How They Stared Down Death:
Meng Xianchen and Meng Xianyou were working hard in a coal mine when the tunnel they were working in collapsed, burying them alive. Generally coal mines anywhere are not safe places to work, but the Mengs were working in an illegal mine, which meant that the safety budget was probably spent on booze and bribes instead of things like oxygen or emergency training.

After the mines collapsed, a rescue team was sent in to try and dig Meng and his brother out, but then quickly gave up. Their fellow miners then gave it a try, and were promptly arrested for illegal mining, presumably on the basis they could accidentally dig up some coal along with the two human beings trapped under it.

So, trapped underground with no food or water and a system too retarded to save them, everyone gave up hope. The Mengs' relatives even conducted burial rites at the mine.

The brothers, however, were still alive. Realizing the rescue effort wasn't coming, the brothers started digging themselves out. Armed with only one pickaxe and their bare hands, they tunneled their way through 66 feet of coal.

In between making jokes about each other's wives and drinking their own urine, they also tried chomping on some coal to take the edge off their hunger. According to Meng, coal tastes great when you're starving to death. Otherwise it tastes like ass.

Once they pulled themselves to the surface, Meng Xianchen and Meng Xianyou gave Death the double bird salute and gave the officials who called off the rescue a hard stare. Then they went to the hospital, where Meng Xianchen said he crapped coal for a few days.

Thanks for nothing, fuckers.

Bear VS Man = Man Wins!

#2.Brent Case Has Bear-Proof Skin

Who was he?
A surveyor working up in Canada, which is like the US, but with better beer and fewer guns.

How He Stared Down Death:
Brent was minding his own business while working in the forests of British Columbia when Death came to visit in the form of a 900-pound adult grizzly bear.

Brent was carrying an ax at the time, but that probably doesn't help a lot against a bear unless it's the kind of ax that shoots shotgun shells. Brent, knowing better, decided to play dead.

Unfortunately the bear wasn't looking for a fair fight and started munching on Brent's skull. At one point he thought the bear was actually eating his brain. While this may not have been true, from the picture below you can't blame him for thinking this.

The bear took a few more chunks out of Brent, threw him into a bog and jumped on him WWE-style a few times before saying "Screw it" and walking off leaving Brent for dead.

It should be noted that playing dead still probably saved his life, as bears typically won't eat an already-dead victim (we're not sure why, but we think it's considered dishonorable according to the code all bears live by). Regardless, with his scalp hanging in huge flaps from his skull and bleeding heavily, Brent managed to get up and go for help. He got back to his car and drove 15 miles, covered in blood and bear bites. Death could only stand on the side of the road and shake its fist.

Watches heroes?This is the invincible gal...

#1.Alexis Goggins, Invincible Girl

Who was she?
Just an ordinary first grader, attending classes, hanging with her friends.

How She Stared Down Death:
She had to save her mom from some crazy dude. She did this by jumping in front of him and taking six bullets, point blank, including a couple to the head.

It started when some lowlife kidnapped Alexis and her mom (OK, the lowlife was the mom's boyfriend). The mother tried to stall the bad guy and managed to call 911, but the cops said they couldn't send anyone. Apparently they were all busy with more fucked up situations than a man holding a child hostage at gunpoint.


It was at this point that the gunman decided he should stamp his passport into hell and started shooting. Two bullets struck the mother before little Alexis dove between them, begging the shooter to stop. Without hesitation, he shot six times, little Alexis taking the bullets that would have killed her mother. By this time the cops arrived, as they figured things were getting really serious because now someone was actually shooting.

Alexis thought about dying for a second then decided she still had some shit to do. Death could only watch as she grabbed her stuff and headed back to the land of the living, despite some serious injuries that would have killed most of us twice and some of us three times.

This would be jaw-droppingly impressive for a 250-pound Marine combat vet, let alone a seven-year-old girl. And while we would like to cling to our original theory that she's actually an immortal Highlander, the truth is this seven-year-old girl is simply more man than we'll ever be.